Today in writing we worked on writing an interesting lead to a story. A good lead captures the reader's attention and creates a desire to keep reading. Click on comments to view some great examples and non-examples.
Puppy: Strong: The puppy was lying on the porch. He was relaxing, getting used to his new surroundings and then he smelled the juicy smell of a steak. It was a new smell to him. A smell that just dug into his nose and he followed the smell.
Weak: The puppy was sitting and then he followed a smell.
Puppy Strong Lead: The puppy was on vacation with his family. He got lost along the way. He was wandering the forest alone and suddenly he heard movement in the bushes and a moment later it was black.
Weak: There's a puppy outside. He is a forest. I think he's lost. He looks unhappy.
Puppies
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
What has four legs, two eyes, and licks your face? A puppy.
Weak Lead:
Puppies are cute. Puppies are nice, too.
From Brayden
The Pug Puppy
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
One morning I woke up and this cute little puppy was on my porch shivering with cold.
Weak Lead:
One morning I woke up and saw a dog.
From Katelynn B.
Puppy:
ReplyDeleteStrong:
The puppy was lying on the porch. He was relaxing, getting used to his new surroundings and then he smelled the juicy smell of a steak. It was a new smell to him. A smell that just dug into his nose and he followed the smell.
Weak:
The puppy was sitting and then he followed a smell.
From Taylor
Puppy
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
The puppy was on vacation with his family. He got lost along the way. He was wandering the forest alone and suddenly he heard movement in the bushes and a moment later it was black.
Weak:
There's a puppy outside. He is a forest. I think he's lost. He looks unhappy.
From Kylie.
Puppy
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
Snickers! Come down here! I don't know how that dog got into the tree but it's causing some chaos.
Weak:
My dog's in the tree. Help me someone! He is falling asleep.
Puppy
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
Snickers! Come down here! I don't know how that dog got into the tree but it's causing some chaos.
Weak:
My dog's in the tree. Help me someone! He is falling asleep.
From Kate H.
Baseball Player:
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
The baseball player was in the outfield. He had pressure going through him. The ball was right in front of him. He caught it! Or did he?
Weak:
The baseball player caught the ball.
Puppy
ReplyDeleteStrong:
My puppy is soft. Her ears are as soft as a blanket. Her eyes are brown and she is bursting with hyperness.
Weak Lead"
My puppy is soft, funny, and cute. I love my dog.
From Kate R.
Baseball Player:
ReplyDeleteStrong Lead:
The baseball player was in the outfield. He had pressure going through him. The ball was right in front of him. He caught it! Or did he?
Weak:
The baseball player caught the ball.
From Grant.
cool
ReplyDelete